What Matters?

I have been working in my mind on this topic for a while. "what Matters?" It seems such a simple question, but i ask it here, in this self indulgent forum to find out what really matters in a relationship. Is there ONE person that fits you perfectly? Or is it just one person at a time that fits perfectly?

I have a friend who hates his wife. He says she is simple minded, unkind, spoiled. She complains all the time, is nasty and snarky to Him. She has no friends and gets jealous when he is on the phone or looks out the car window at pedestrians in summer. He doesn't have sex with her anymore because he would prefer to never have sex again than touch that bitch. I asked Him, "why did you marry her?" In a sad longing voice he responds, "The girl could suck cock like you cannot believe, she was just insatiable."

Are the things that matter at the moment the things that matter for the reset of  your life? Would my friend with the evil wife have been better off with a brilliant girl, with a sense of humor but would only have missionary sex and wouldn't put a cock in her mouth ever? No one can answer that, not even Him. But let me put this into context. I read an advert on a BDSM meeting site:

• Anyone (ladies) in the casino area looking to settle down with a swm who at 53 never married and either start lactating or in the process please let me know. I am looking for a LTR. Please, not to be rude, but slender to average only....

In three short lines this person is asking for a lot of criteria don't you think?

1. Ladies...ok thats an easy one, half the population is female
2. One in the casino area... well I'm not sure if He is in Las Vegas, but I'll assume not because it is on a New England Personals News Group. So, how big of a population can we be talking about here, due to the fact gambling is illegal in New England except on Indian Reservations?
3. A lady that wants to settle down...oooh fuck, he hasn't even met one yet...
4. A lady, that wants to start lactating...uh...ok, that narrows the field a bit more don't you think?
5. And well if the above doesn't sort through every single eligible woman "not to be rude" or anything...a skinny one

A few weeks later He left another posting confused by the lack of response:

• is there not ONE slender to slim, submissive female on the east side of the river that wants to play? Any woman that want / like to travel? why don't we go away to an island for two weeks (free for you) and get to know each other? 

The words "serial killer" and "safe call" floated through my mind when I read that posting. But let's assume His intentions are good.

Do you wonder why at 53 he is single and never been married? What are the deal breakers? I contacted this person and asked Him how may women did he think live in the area that fit that many unusual criteria. He removed the "slender" requirement from the advert a day later. But now I wonder, if he finds a girl that is willing to lactate, travel to points unknown, lives east of the river, is willing/ able to settle down into a long term relationship, do his laundry, cook his meals and feed his cats (im making up the last little bit) will He sit across the dinner table from her in seven years saying to himself, "I wish i took out the lactating and went for the skinny girl, becuase this fat cow is disgusting and leaking all over the fucking place. She just sits around all day with a breast pump and won't even leave the house to travel. What was I thinking!?"

This advert just makes me think of the excuses we make for why we do the things we do. The things that bring us misery or happiness are in the details. I see discussons on news groups or in Dear Abby:

"Does age matter?"
"Do politics matter?"
"He likes anal, i don't,  Should i leave??"
"He wants to cum on my face, I don't like it, should I do it anyway?"
"My fiance wants kids, I don't, should we get married?"

My answer is YES!! It all matters, but is it a deal breaker?

I have an online friend who is a staunch, died in the wool republican. I'm about as liberal as they come. We used to debate politics and He said, "If you werent such a liberal bitch I would really like you" We both laughed about that, but that just illustrates what matters. We debate often but have mutual respect for eachother. Last night I asked Him what matters to Him. He said simply, "If I can satisfy her with my mind and my body, then she is the one for me."

I cant think of a single person who doesn't wonder "what would have been IF..." I nearly married a man shortly after I graduated from college. I often think to myself, i wonder what would have been if i could stand the fact he wouldn't meet my family.  I ask myself that a lot, but it still comes out the same. It was his core values I didn't respect enough to be part of for the rest of my life. He didn't consider what was important to me to be important to Him. DEAL BREAKER!

Instead, I married my best friend. Yeah, there are some things that are missing. He can't cook anything other than toast, He is nasty as piss in the morning, He leaves his dirty underwear on the floor, He whines like a girl when he is sick, and He doesn't like to eat pussy. But, I am willing to settle for a Man that is flawed because He is a good husband, an awesome Daddy, He is interested in what i have to say, listens when i talk, laughs at my jokes, is my best friend and most important of all, we respect eachother enough to change the rules as we go.

Moon Drenched

I sat up in bed my body tense and alive with the feel of His hands on me. I rolled toward Him in the bed and looked at Him, the pearly light of the full moon through the skylight illuminating Him in an unearthly glow. "Sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you, go back to sleep." I just lay there watching Him as His fingers slowly caressed my bare hip. I watched His face, His eyes were open and He looked at me. I whispered sleepily, "whassa matter Daddy, why can't You sleep?"

"I dunno, princess, go back to sleep, I'll just lay here and watch you."
I closed my eyes and snuggled closer against Him as His fingers trailed over my bare skin, i was awake now, worried, my brain working as to why He wasn't asleep. I rolled over and pressed my bottom against His hips. His hands were slow against my smooth skin. He muttered almost to Himself. "I was just thinking about you, thinking how lucky i am because l get to keep you forever." I must have stirred against Him because he said more loudly, "baby, I'm sorry, I'm being silly." He pulled my round bottom into the curve of his hip and laid a hand on my breast and just held me there. I lay silently pressing myself toward Him, trying to make Him calm to sleep.

"That moon is just too bright to sleep under. The moonlight makes you look like an angel." He pulled back the covers to expose me to the blue white light. I laughed softly, he felt me pressing against Him and i felt him stir. I was getting cold, i reached to pull the covers back up, he put his hand over mine and gently tugged on my shoulder to roll me over toward Him. Silently he leaned up on one elbow and covered my mouth with His. I kissed Him back, tasting Him. My half covered body warmed by his, but still chilling in the stark moonlight.

I lay on my back as he rested on one elbow above me, just watching me. I was feeling awkward now, like a live butterfly in a specimen jar. Not pinned, but hypnotized, not moving under the watchful gaze. He ran the back of his hand from my loins up over my belly and between my breasts. I closed my eyes and felt the sensuality of His touch. I relaxed into my pillows, eyes still closed as i felt His touch take me away. I was so close to sleep, or subspace. I just let Him have me in that moment to surrender and let Him take me away. The back of  His hand left warm trails over my skin, making my nipples perk to the contrast of His touches and the cold air.

So gentle were his touches it felt like a long time that he just slowly dragged his soft hand over my skin. His eyes were dark, keen points in the dim light. He moved slowly and covered my mouth with His again. He teased opened my lips with His probing tongue, making hunger for His lips. He pulled his mouth up and away from me, teasing me, making me want Him more than i wanted sleep. His fingers lay gently on my soft folds and slid a finger against my labia, just feeling my warmth against his cool finger. He let His hand linger between my legs. I reflexively parted my legs for His entrance, but that is not what He wanted, he just wanted to feel me. He wanted to know that His girl was always ready for Him.

He lowered his lips to my neck and cooed softly into my ear. "Baby, I want to take you slowly and stay awake all night having you."  I arched up to see the clock it was only 1:15, what is being tired at work when you can have spontaneous lovemaking past midnight on a school night. I pressed myself to Him closer, wanting to mold myself to his body, be entirely His. I wanted to be one with Him. He slid his warm wet fingers over my cold skin, slowly and then finding a place he wanted to explore he pressed His fingertips into the arches of my hips and around to my soft, round bottom.

He looked directly at me. Watching me, he cupped a hand to my breast and sucked my nipple. As if drugged, i lethargically arched my back to press my breasts to meet His lips. He sucked harder on my nipple lifting his head higher up, i arched as high as i could, toward his suckling lips until i couldn't reach any higher and he let my full round breast fall from his lips.

I groaned softly, feeling my breast bounce back onto my chest and i relaxed back into the soft mattress. He leaned across my chest and did the same to the other breast, making me hiss with the desire for Him to suckle me more. When he dropped my breast again i rolled toward Him and He smiled wolfishly at me. His smile was slow to fade when He kissed my lips, making the hunger in me burn for Him. I wanted Him so badly, but i just wanted to stay in His arms all night. He lay with his head on his elbow, i faced him and smiled coyly. It was my turn.

I dragged a hand across His chest and down over the ridges of His chest, feeling the smooth expanse of His belly and the notch in his hip where the shape of His muscles point lewdly downward. I ran my forearm slowly across his belly as my fingers curled into the springy wiry curls at his loins. I teased His thigh, dragging my fingertips upward then when i was about to touch His balls, i would slowly slide my fingers downward. I was always, careful not to touch His manhood, teasing Him mercilessly with my slow effleurage. He arched it up, showing me what he wanted to be touched.  I moved slowly my hair tickling his side and hip as i slithered down dragging my lips and tongue over His chest on my way down His torso to rest my head on his thigh.

Looking up at Him i grinned.  The moon was passing over the sky light now, the full white orb, hanging above us leaving shadows on His face but his skin was illuminated in a glowing blue haze. I exhaled gently onto His cock and watched as it bobbed away from my warm breath then as it bounced searching for my lips. I grinned. I love this. This is when i am at my happiest. I looked up at Him the pleasure aparent on my face. He rolled onto His back and rolled me over Him so i was nestled between His parted legs. He propped a pillow under His head and looked down at me, my own wanton smile mirrored on His face. He cupped my cheeks in His hands and nodded slowly. I opened my mouth and in one long slow motion i took His entire lenght into my lips and sealed my lips around His shaft feeling His manhood touching the back of my throat. I held Him inside of me.

He grunted, in the silence it sounded so loud. He sucked in a long slow rasping breath, on his next exhale he hissed "fuck baby... what you do to me." I know what i do to Him. I make Him crazy with lust, make Him want me, and make Him want to wait,  make him buck and thrust like an animal and writhe with the wanting that he can have any time, but prefers to hold onto so he can make His pleasure last as long as possible.

I wrapped my small hand around His shaft and stroked it so tortuously slowly. He ground His cock against my hand and I worked Him harder in my hand, rubbing the palm over the tip, lubricating it with his precum.  With my other hand i cupped His balls pulling them upward to meet my other hand. Sinking slowly down onto His cock again with my mouth, cooing softly up at Him i watch His cock throb.

"Look at me, baby" His husky tones pull me from my reverence and I look up at Him. His cock is pressed to my bottom lip and i smile at Him, a big wide grin and watch his eyes as my lips slide wetly over His shaft down to His balls. His hands rest gently on my head and he grits His teeth. When I slide back up he bucks then holds Himself still. "Baby, I need to cum..... Uhhhgg... I can't stop it." I lower my head down onto Him one more time and grip his cock tightly in my lips and slide my hand back up the shaft rhythmically, my eyes on His as i stroke His cock against my softly parted lips. He watches as His cock throbs in my hand and the wet creamy cum oozes over the head of  His cock onto my upper lip. I smile as i lick the cum off the head of His cock being very gentle now suckling the last drops from His cock as his fingers twine into my hair soothing me gently. 

I drop my head to His belly and he pets my head sleepily murmuring sweetnesses at me.I drift off to sleep tasting His seed on my lips and listening to his heart beat slow and and his breath becoming steadier. "I love you, baby" are the last words i hear when i fall asleep, i try to respond, but nothing comes out of my lips. I just hold his hand a bit tighter, snuggle closer and silently make Him know i love Him.