Rough And Dirty Gems

Rough And Dirty Gems

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What is Love

As it happens, my last posting caused a flurry of questions in private either sent to my twitter DM or my followers asked me in emails variations on this same question: "Have you really had that many loves, especially online?" The simple answer is yes.

When I first started chatting online, it was so new and exciting, and the words thrilled me. The use of interactive timing made my heart move in that slow muddy pace of first love, the sensual imagination of His fingertips trailing along the side of my breasts, curling under it and cupping it into His hand. His lowering head to kiss the nipple and then, we would grind together, typing until it became just frantic "Mmmmmmmmmmm oohhhhhhh hooohhh yesssssss.... " as we both had to stop typing to use our hands to cum. He told me in great detail how His cum would spill over my face and chin and lips. I would respond, "Yes, spread your seed over my face and rub it in with the head of Your cock." But to read a log of the event now, is so mundane it makes me laugh. But it was the words i loved, how Hhe could use only words to bring me to such a frenzy. I would seek Him out night after night to feel his words ripple through me. Is that love?

Then i met another Man online, He lived far away and he was intelligent and witty. He made me smile, he was sensual and kind. We had a candor that was remarkable and we shared the same interests. It was easy to say that He was my best friend. We used to talk late into the night, and sneak in chats where ever we could, challenging each other to be sexy and learn as much as we could, so we wouldn't fall into the pit of so many online couples that have almost nothing at all in common, we always had the sex. We researched new positions ideas and talked about them.

I think with Him, i was allowed to grow and be as sexual as i am now, in a way that most people are not free to do in their everyday lives. We would make up stories every day, the Plot Du Jour, and see how long we could make eachother last before cumming. He and i would talk about our future, it was always so optomistic. I considered a life with Him but alas, as so many online relationships, even those that last years as ours did, they end. He and i grew apart, but there is no doubt i loved Him. To this day, years later, i still feel a hollow from the loss of His friendship. Can this be love?

There was another Man, He opened other doors to me. He taught me that the goal isn't the cumming online, it's the escape. He taught me to savour the pace of roleplay. Take pleasure in taking yourself away with your shared imaginings. He was loveable and kind and treated me well. He called me "pet" and took care to make me know i was special to Him. I cared for Him greatly and wanted Him to know he was cared for as well. Is that love?

I was done with having my heart broken, finished forever. I was never going to be happy with any one Man online. I'm like a little fairy sprite. I just flit from one to another without a care. You cannot put a girl like me into a jar and close the lid. I will die. It was flitting from one to another that made me learn the most important lesson yet. He taught me patience. He told me when we first met, "I am in no hurry, if I wanted to cum, I'd jerk off alone."

Of course this made me laugh. One of a million times He made me laugh. I was a prude until I met Him, because before i knew Him, i wasn't able to see sex as fun. I mean, its always a good time to get a nice big fat wad of cum on my face, smile up at a Man and tell Him "thank You." Its also fun to cum so hard you feel like your hair is going to fall out. But, having a Man at the other end of the screen, that makes you laugh out loud, and challenges you to think in order to cum, now that's a Man worth having.

This man, likes the dialogue, he likes it FUN. He likes it to be nothing like real life. It's online after all. Not real, just fantasy. It's playtime. But it takes trust and passion and true respect for a person, to make you feel secure enough about yourself that you drop every single veil, every inhibition you ever had and lose all the limits so that you are more naked before a person you never met than you ever have been with the one you live with. When all of the other stuff is stripped away, the taboos, the kinks, the dirtiness of sex is all gone, you are just left with ... dare i say it, Love.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, the wonder of imagination shared with another of similar ilk. Therein lay the meat of love. The texture so satisfying, the aroma and flavor as succulent as stolen candy to a willful child. you are right. It is love. Love in its purest form; love that will live or die as you nurture the truth of it.

    To be pierced to the depth of longing. To have our fantasies painted raw before our eyes, every hue and shadow brighter than we expect. More than words, they whip your pulse a brace of horses driving tandem on cold ground, empty avatars all around, unaware of the raging storm between the two of you, silent and unmoving, the encounter held hotly within. Lust boiling away layers of suspicion and distrust. Anonymous release, safe on familiar ground, where you can, finally, strip intimacy naked, and where no doors are closed.

    The name of love. To talk about anything. To laugh and cry with utter abandon. To know the other side of your soul is but a key stroke, or a dial tone away.

    An online environment provides a remarkable opportunity to remove all that hinders a new physical encounter. It is indeed love, because we allow it to be, rather than keeping it in check to prevent pain. We seek, and see, our ideals in the anonymous words of a kindred spirit. In reality, are they kindred, or simply very convincing?


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